'Firefly'

Ever since Deep Space Nine descended into galactic warfare and The X-Files went crappy, I haven't had a good sci-fi show to watch. I never got into Voyager. Enterprise, despite ostensibly being set in the Star Trek universe, felt more like a bad syndicated wannabe. So how did I end up missing Firefly, Joss Whedon's shortlived series on Fox?

Firefly is a great hodge podge of genres -- science fiction, western, noir, screwball comedy. The show's world is cobbled together from Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien, Dune, and Blade Runner -- our hero, Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Han Solo) leads the crew of Serenity, a Firefly-class transport ship (Millenium Falcon). A veteran from the losing side of the Unification War (Rebel Alliance), Mal and his crew eke out a living on the outskirts of the known universe, where the worlds look suspiciously like the frontier of westerns (Tatooine and the like). Smuggling and robbery are their bread and butter, but they have to do it under the radar of the shiny Alliance (Federation) and its military branch (Starfleet). Corporatocracy rules the day (Alien) and the government, which is a union of the United States and China. This marriage of cultures is best represented through their everyday speech, where English is heavily punctuated with Chinese curses and phrases (Blade Runner's 'gutter speech').

Sci-fi nowadays is dominated by shallow homages to greater works (like, y'know, the recent Star Wars movies), but Firefly sets itself apart because it examines the genre's core stories that often get crowded with giant space battles and special effects -- what does it mean to be human? What is progress? Who is good and who is evil? The Alliance, although antagonists to the crew of Serenity, isn't necessarily evil. They believe wholeheartedly in their intent to civilize the known world. But what about those who don't want to be civilized? What if 'freedom' and 'progress' mean different things to the people of the outer rim? Mal robs for a living, but does stealing from the rich and corporate make it morally expedient? The lines are always blurry in the deep reaches of space, where sometimes survival supersedes morality.

While it may sound all very high handed, the show is very well grounded in its cast of characters. Despite only having fourteen episodes and one feature, Firefly managed to have wondrous, subtle growth in its characters. They're less archetypes than fully realized people, giving us nine faces to identify with. I was excited to see where Whedon was taking these people, but unfortunately Fox once again fucked with a great thing (see: Undeclared and Arrested Development). The two hour pilot, which only introduces all of the characters and establishes the Firefly universe, was scrapped in favor of a more 'action-packed' episode. Most of the show was aired out of order, and three of the last four episodes didn't even make it that far. But there is some glimmer of hope, as the feature Serenity was received well enough to perhaps merit a sequel or two. Here's to hoping.

*A couple of small gripes:
-In a solar system populated by an alliance of the US and China, how come there aren't any Chinese characters (people, not hanzi) on the show? Or at the very least tons of half-Asian people? Off the top of my head, I can only recall one Asian character with a speaking part, and she was (literally) a whore. Maybe they were going to build the TransGalactic Railroad in the next season.

-Sometimes Whedon takes the western part of the show a bit too far. I can't help but think that if you were flipping through the channels and happened upon Firefly without knowing what it was, you might think that you've stumbled into The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. (another good cancelled Fox show). There's cattle rustling, six shooters, Stetson hats, and county sheriffs aplenty. A little too hokey for me.

Patrick Stewart.

After that Monday Night Football debacle, I luckily flipped to a rerun of the Patrick Stewart SNL episode. 'Phil McCracken: Scottish Therapist' and the Sexy Cake Shop helped ease the pain. Also, maybe the greatest introduction of the musical act.

For those of you with HBO, check out the season finale of 'Extras' for a great Patrick Stewart cameo:

On the set of an Elizabethan drama, Andy pitches a sitcom pilot script to Patrick Stewart, who shares his own screenwriting story ideas (he plays a man with special powers who makes women's clothes disappear, after saving them in Iraq).

Stewart: "For instance I might be walking along and see a beautiful girl and think 'I wish I could see her naked'... and so her clothes fall off."

Bill Maher's New Rules:

New Rule: America must recall the president. That's what this country needs. A good, old-fashioned, California-style recall election! Complete with Gary Coleman, porno actresses and action film stars. And just like Schwarzenegger's predecessor here in California, George Bush is now so unpopular, he must defend his job against...Russell Crowe. Because at this point, I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody. In fact, let's have only phone throwers. Naomi Campbell can be the vice-president!

Now, I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can't start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Yeah, listen to your mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out, and no one is speaking to you: mission accomplished! Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?!

Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying that there's so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in...Please don't. I know, I know, there's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote. But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.

Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans...Maybe you're just not lucky!

I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So, yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, "Take a hint."

Only the good die young.

Finally got my 'Undeclared' box set the other day. Thank God for small miracles. I only wish there was a Season 2 to look forward to.

Don't forget.

Bill Maher's back tonight. Sweet.