Hot stove.

So now that Theo's gone, Lucchino and company are cleaning house. 'Theo's guys' are being shipped out of town or given walking papers, amidst the craziest baseball off season since 2000 (the Year of the Bloated Free Agent Contracts). The Marlins just finished gutting their very talented team. The Phillies traded Big Bad Jim Thome out of town. Alfonso Soriano, traded away from Texas. Clemens, finally retired? The Blue Jays are actually spending money. And Manny might still be traded (nooooooooo...).

At the end of the 2005 season, the starting lineup of the Sox looked something like this:

C Jason Varitek
1B Kevin Millar/John Olerud
2B Tony Graffanino
3B Bill Mueller
SS Edgar Renteria
LF Manny Ramirez
CF Johnny Damon
RF Trot Nixon
DH David Ortiz

SP Curt Schilling
SP Matt Clement
SP Tim Wakefield
SP David Wells
SP Bronson Arroyo

Now we're looking at a rough draft like this:

C Varitek
1B ??? (Millar -- let go / Olerud -- retired)
2B Mark Loretta
3B Mike Lowell
SS ??? (See ya, Edgah)
LF Ramirez (for now)
CF ??? (Damon re-signs?)
RF Nixon (for now)
DH Ortiz

SP Josh Beckett
SP Schilling
SP Wakefield
SP Jon Papelbon
SP ??? (Wells likely gone / Clement might be gone)

A lot of question marks. A lot of rumors. By trading for Loretta, super prospect Dustin Pedroia is now going to sit in Pawtucket. Is he going to be traded away too? What happens to Youkilis? If they trade Manny, who's going to fill the production void? Troy Glaus? Will Damon re-sign? If he doesn't, then do they trade for Bobby Abreu? Can Lowell be his good ole .280/25/100 self? Do we have enough super glue for Beckett's blisters? Is Nomar coming back???

I love offseasons like this -- a massive shakeup to the status quo. To teams like the Mets, Cubs, and Blue Jays, this recent infusion of talent reinvigorates their hopes and chances. The White Sox are, for the time being, a force. The Indians are on the verge. The current superpowers, the Red Sox, Yankees, Angels, Cardinals, and Braves, are still around, while the Dodgers, A's, Twins, Astros, and Giants can still be factors.

How many more days until pitchers and catchers report?

Music, Part 1.

It's been a while since I posted, thanks to Civilization IV. Anyway, I went to the Audioslave show at Lowell last night. My expectations were pretty tepid, due to a general lack of enthusiasm for their music, my growing antipathy towards going to shows, and seeing one of my idols, Chris Cornell, slowly fading from relevance and, it seemed, talent.

However, I was very pleasantly surprised. Some highlights:

-Cornell was 'on' from song one. His voice, raspy and off-key in these older days, was clear and powerful. I couldn't help but smile like a goofy bastard. He still knows how to work the crowd, although he's a lot less confrontational and sarcastic than he used to be. It's the kinder, gentler, older, tanner, soberer Chris Cornell.

-Morello being Morello. Guitar at his chest, fingers flying, feet stomping, pulling-the-power-cord-out-and-rubbing-them-over-the-strings-to-create-some-crazy-noise. I'll always marvel at his mastery of the guitar.

-Brad Wilk wearing a gorilla mask for most of the show.

-A choice selection of Soundgarden/Rage Against the Machine/Temple of the Dog songs. Disappointingly, the Soundgarden/Temple of the Dog reception was a little underwhelming. It seemed like only half of the audience recognized 'Rusty Cage'. I think five people recognized 'Slaves & Bulldozers' (two of them being me and Jon). The pop for RATM was crazy though. Probably the most fervent reaction of the night. Morello/Cummerford/Wilk were excellent playing Cornell's stuff. As for Cornell rapping...

-The first encore, which had solo, acoustic Cornell. Beautiful. The crowd kind of fell asleep though.

A couple of gripes:

-The crackhead couple in front of us who were way too enthusiastic about everything.

-There seemed to be too much of a concerted effort to play the 'hits'. It would've been nice to hear some Audioslave non-singles ('Yesterday to Tomorrow,' 'Give', 'Hypnotize'), although I generally did like the setlist. And I wouldn't have sacrificed any of the SG/RATM songs to hear them.

-Finding out from my brother, right before the show, that Theo resigned. With text messaging though, it's difficult to tell if he meant 're-signed' or 'resigned'. Unfortunately, it was the latter.

Give A-Rod the MVP.

I've spent an inordinate amount of time today reading baseball message boards, and I can't find one Yankee fan coming to the defense of Alex Rodriguez. And why would they? .133 batting average in the postseason, no home runs, no RBI. A costly error that contributed to an Angels win in Game 2. Hitting into a double play in the top of the 9th inning, after Jeter did his part to get on base. It's ridiculously petty, but it's very, very enjoyable to read all these Yankee fans ranting about their MVP candidate. Almost all of them now acknowledge that Ortiz should win the hardware, defense be damned.

As a Red Sox fan, it would, of course, make me very happy if Ortiz won. A just reward for the fabulous, exciting season he had, despite the team's outcome. I just think it would be very amusing to see A-Rod win, if they presented him with the award on Opening Day of 2006, and be able to hear the cascade of boos rain down on him in Yankee Stadium. Or better yet, a smattering of tepid, polite applause (think Jackson Heights' own, Mr. Randy Watson of Sexual Chocolate).

Okay, I'm very petty and childish. Here's some more pettiness and childishness:

"Right now, somewhere in New York, a five-year-old kid is wondering if the Yankees will win a championship in his lifetime."
-- Dan Bock, Durham, N.C.

Gaffanino

That was ugly. The only glimmer of hope is that the Sox have run the table (via outright sweep or with their backs against the wall) in their last five victorious post season series:

1999 Division Series
Down 0-2 to the Indians, the Sox take the next three, capped by the immortal Pedro Martinez pitching six no-hit innings out of the bullpen and Troy O'Leary going 'Way back!! WAAAAAAAAY BACK!!!!' Man, I miss Pedro.

2003 Division Series
Again, down 0-2, this time to the Oakland A's. A mix of clutchitude (Trot's extra inning two-run homer to center field in Game 3, Scott Williamson suddenly emerging as the fireman, David Ortiz beginning his transformation into Senor Octubre with the winning hit in Game 4) and ineptitude (Baserunning gaffes galore for the A's) allowed the Sox to storm back. Derek Lowe came out of the bullpen to strike out the last two batters, punctuated with his DX 'Suck It!!' crotch chop. Miguel Tejada was not amused.

2004 Division Series
Swept the Angels. Big Papi over the Monster.

2004 League Championship Series
Millar walks. Roberts steals. Mueller hits. Ortiz. Ortiz. Ortiz. Foulke. Schilling. The Greatest Collapse in History or the Greatest Comeback in History, depending on your allegiance, but history's written by the victors, bitches.

2004 World Series
The Cardinals had no chance in hell. Broom city.

Good riddance / 'Ted Sarandis' = 'Satan is redd'

Ted Sarandis is finally off the WEEI airwaves. Gone is the moralizing, his strange, creepy optimism and enthusiasm, and the college sports force feeding. He seemed to treat his show like a bully pulpit -- there was no actual discussion. Callers would have to grovel and kow tow to get any air time, or Ted would rudely speak over them and then summarily dismiss the contrarian by hanging up -- no opposing view points on his show.

He also didn't do his homework. Ted seemed to make up stats if they suited his argument or make vague generalizations without any basis. I remember one instance earlier in the season when the Oakland A's pounded the Sox 13-6. Immediately after the game, Ted tried to absolve the Sox pitching staff by claiming the A's were a great offensive team, despite the fact they ranked near the bottom of the league (at the time) in runs scored, batting average, slugging percentage, and on base percentage. I'd like to think that anybody who called up to point out his error was yelled at and hung up on.

What I'll miss are the occasional gems of his lunacy -- his flat and halting monotone delivery suddenly erupting into bombast when provoked.

"I'm not gonna talk to a jerk like you!!!"

"I don't get what's going on in your brain."

It's the end of an era (thank God).

Sign him now.

I'm willing to bet that's some serious left-handed heat. I'm not so sure about Leia as pitching coach, though.

The Poker Dead Zone

I consider myself a pretty decent poker player. I usually win more often than I lose (except at Foxwoods...). But this week has to be the one of the worst I've ever had. It all started when I decided to jump back on the Party Poker bandwagon. My usual m.o. is to deposit the requisite $50, try to double or triple that money in a day playing boring ass micro limits, withdraw the initial deposit, and use the remainder to play with. If I win, great. If I lose, it's house money at that point.

This week...no such luck. I stayed pretty even for a day or two, never going up or down more than $15. And then the shit hit the fan. Dominating hands on the flop were cracked by guys hitting runner-runner or spiking a set on the river because they stubbornly played their pocket 2's to the end. Then I had a period where I couldn't hit a damn thing. Nothing. I'm holding AK? Flop comes 2 5 9. I got 56 suited? Flop comes A K 10, all rainbow. If I had the good fortune of flopping the nuts, I'd get absolutely no action, no matter how slow I played my hand. So basically I was hemorrhaging money on losing hands and making a trifle on hands that should've paid me off.

Within a couple of more days I was down to around $5 and cursing the poker gods for forsaking me. See, ordinarily I'd be paranoid and petty and accuse Party Poker of trying to cheat me (there are theories out there...). But my spate of bad luck/bad play continued into our home poker game last night, where I busted out twice.

So with my shiny $5, I decided to start playing super tight-aggressive. It worked for a little while as I started to scrape together a few wins, and then...the hand that told me I should stop playing for a while.

I've got J 10 of spades in second position. The first guy folds, I limp in for .50 as do two more players. The small blinds limps and the big blind checks.

The flop comes 7s 8s Td.
I've got top pair with a decent kicker, a flush draw, an inside straight draw, and an inside straight-flush draw. I figure I'm in great position. SB checks, BB bets out .50, I decide to just call so as to build a pot behind me. Everybody calls except for the SB.

The turn brings the Tc. Now I've got trips. BB bets $1, this time I raise, one guy behind me folds and one calls, and BB re-raises me. Sweet, now we've got a pot. I re-raise, capping the action, and both call behind me.

The 5s comes on the river. I've made my flush. BB bets out again, I raise, guy behind calls, BB re-raises, I re-raise back, guy behind calls, BB calls. Give me my money! Um, nope. BB shows 10-5, giving him the full house and the $27.50 pot. The guy was unknowingly drawing to two outs (the only remaining 5's in the deck) and he hits one of the river. Unbelievable. Now I'm back to $5 and convinced that someone has it in for me. I tighten up AGAIN and make a mini-comeback for an hour, but the momentum petered out, leaving me here, lamenting my poker losses and wondering if it's me, bad luck, or a combination of both.

(Oh, and the Sox defense is atrocious in the 5th inning and Wakefield just got hit in the ankle with a line drive.)

Roberto Petagine

Three bad plays last night:

1. Miller's laboring, and he finally gets the batter to hit a slow grounder to first. Petagine starts to break the wrong way, tries to correct himself, and ends up letting the ball go through his legs and under his glove. Another run scores, and the game is tied.

2. Kevin Mench hits a single to right field but stumbles out of the box. Millar, who is fielding the ball, sees an opportunity and fires the ball to first. Petagine isn't even paying attention, turns around at the last minute and awkwardly fields the ball. I know it's not exactly a routine play, but he was clearly not paying attention to where the ball was.

3. Foul pop up to the first base side, and Petagine goes after it and then...completely loses sight of it. Thankfully Graffanino comes swooping in to save poor Roberto's ass.

Throw in an inning ending, rally killing double play early on in the game, when it was still competitive, and Petagine's not exactly lighting the world on fire. Somehow I think Ortiz would embarass himself less out there, but maybe they don't want to take him out of his comfort zone. I say, send Roberto back to AAA and find a way to make a trade for Daubach. Dauber, I miss you.